Difference between revisions of "Libertarianism in One Lesson (Parody)"
From Critiques Of Libertarianism
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[[Category:Mike Huben]] | [[Category:Mike Huben]] | ||
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[[Category:Humor]] | [[Category:Humor]] | ||
{{DES | des = [[Mike Huben]]'s guide to becoming a libertarian. If you've argued with libertarians, you'll understand them well enough to ROTFL. :-) for the humor-impaired.}} | {{DES | des = [[Mike Huben]]'s guide to becoming a libertarian. If you've argued with libertarians, you'll understand them well enough to ROTFL. :-) for the humor-impaired.}} | ||
| − | No, this isn't David Bergland's evangelistic text. This is an outsider's view of the precepts of libertarianism. I hope you can laugh at how close this is to real libertarianism! | + | No, this isn't [[Libertarianism In One Lesson: Why Libertarianism Is the Best Hope for America's Future|David Bergland's evangelistic text]]. This is an outsider's view of the precepts of libertarianism. I hope you can laugh at how close this is to real libertarianism! |
== Introduction == | == Introduction == | ||
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* Spiritually baptize the deceased as libertarians because they cannot protest the anachronism: Locke, Smith, Paine, Jefferson, Spooner, etc. | * Spiritually baptize the deceased as libertarians because they cannot protest the anachronism: Locke, Smith, Paine, Jefferson, Spooner, etc. | ||
* The most heavily armed libertarian has the biggest dick and thus the best argument. | * The most heavily armed libertarian has the biggest dick and thus the best argument. | ||
| − | * The best multi-party democratic republics should be equated to the worst dictatorships for the purposes of denouncing statism. It's only a matter of degree. | + | * The best multi-party democratic republics should be equated to the worst dictatorships and mafias for the purposes of denouncing statism. It's only a matter of degree. |
* Inviolate private property is the only true measure of freedom. Those without property have the freedom to try to acquire it. If they can't, let them find somebody else's property to complain on. | * Inviolate private property is the only true measure of freedom. Those without property have the freedom to try to acquire it. If they can't, let them find somebody else's property to complain on. | ||
* Private ownership is the cure for all problems, despite the historical record of privately owned states such as Nazi Germany, Czarist and Stalinist Russia, and Maoist China. | * Private ownership is the cure for all problems, despite the historical record of privately owned states such as Nazi Germany, Czarist and Stalinist Russia, and Maoist China. | ||
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* Only libertarian economists' Nobel Prizes count: the other economists and Nobel Prize Committee are mistaken. | * Only libertarian economists' Nobel Prizes count: the other economists and Nobel Prize Committee are mistaken. | ||
* Any exceptional case of private production proves that government ought not to be involved. | * Any exceptional case of private production proves that government ought not to be involved. | ||
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| + | == See also: == | ||
| + | * [[Libertarianism in One Lesson; The Second Lesson]]. | ||
| + | * [[Libertarianism in One Lesson; The Third Lesson]]. | ||
