View source for Why do YOU hate freedom?

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[[Category:Humor]]
{{DES | des = A bunch of snarky reddit answers to this "when did you stop beting your wife" question. | show=}}
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Because reddit pages can be ephemeral and very noisy, I have selected some of the snarkiest answers from [https://web.archive.org/web/20140325113104/http://www.reddit.com/r/EnoughLibertarianSpam/comments/217xaz/why_do_you_hate_freedom/ here.]

* Well, I'm a former libertarian, so I didn't always hate freedom. It's hard to put into words. One day you just wake up and feel like hating freedom for no reason. It snowballs from there.  I love nothing better than plotting new ways to make things inefficient. I also like to stop people doing things just for the sake of it.
* I just love wearing jackboots and stealing money from hard-workin' white folks.
* I like the jackboots because they make me look taller.
* Are we the bad guys?
* If we are, we're really fashionable! So that makes it all right.
* For me personally, the moment I joined the Marines and pledged allegiance to Our Lord Obama, I just knew I wanted to plant my jackboot on a freedom lover's neck. In fact, I had an inkling before I left for Quantico that my fulfilment would only come through an anti-liberty organisation such as the Corps, or the FDA.  Anyway, we just wrapped up our monthly exercise on how to strip the populace of their weapons, which was pretty cool. And we're training up some UN guys to take over from us, so they can in turn disarm us. Because that's what socialism's all about, right? Everyone being equal under the oppression of Big Government?
* Nothing gives me a bigger erection than hearing about some smart motivated captain of industry literally being raped and stolen from at gunpoint by way of progressive taxation.  I'm just a sick fuck who loves to see the state doing tyrannical things like paving the roads, feeding and housing the elderly, and educating children.
* I don't like child labor?
* Because I'm an adult?
* Because I don't think liberty is more important than security.
* Because I'm an anarchist, which apparently means I'm best buddies with Nazis.
* THE CHART!
* oh you know, the usual. I think we should get together to protect each other by creating an organization instead of locking ourselves indoors with a gun pointed at the door 24/7. I also think that organization should be in charge of helping people who aren't doing so well so that they don't turn into criminals from which I'd have to protect myself with a gun pointed at the door. And of course I think that organization make anyone who wants to live in our safe and secure community pay to keep it running and abide by the rules.
* Next you'll want that organization to be held accountable to the will of the people, you filthy statist.
* I hate freedom because I'm not afraid to walk in my neighbourhood without a pistol and an AR-15 slung over my shoulder.
* Because it's a buzzword that doesn't have any real meaning.
* I could say it's because I'm opposed to inequality and systems that create it, but the reality is that I am just an Illuminati member and shill for the Reptillians.
* I'm allergic to liberty so the less of it I have to deal with the better I feels...
* I was a libertarian once, but then I saw a picture of Lenin looking cooler than Light Yagami eating crisps, and I had the weirdest boner. Once my heterosexuality was compromised, everything went downhill, and I unquestionably swallowed the gay feminist communist propaganda whole. Thus I learned to hate freedom and love rape-slavery.
* I think libertarian's definition of Freedom<super>TM</super> is warped - that's what I hate, their definition.
* Because I like the taste of Libertarian tears.
* I'm kind of unique statist because I don't actually hate freedom. For me it's more about punishing success because I resent job creators for being better than me.
* I'm just not as good as they are, so I have to tear them down to make me feel better about myself. Plus as a parasite I'll probably never earn an honest living and need to suckle Obamabucks stolen from my betters just to keep from starving to death. I will never bow down before the fedora-wearing, neckbearded master race even though I know deep down in my heart that they are Ubermensch and I am statist scum. And yes libertarians, you look sexy in your fedoras and anyone who makes fun of them is just jealous they're too much of a sheeple to have such a unique style.
* ... Look: desegregation happened at the point of a gun. We're better for having it done instead of waiting. Checkmate, libertarians. That's just a one-sentence oversimplification.
* Nah bro, segregation would have ended earlier because something free market. Even though it didn't.
* I don't. I love freedom. I just have a much different concept of what freedom means, and let me tell you, it isn't having to work in a sweatshop 14 hours a day or starve.
* I never really thought it through -- I just started hating freedom because my professors and George Soros told me to.  Incidentally, "George Soros and the Professors" is the name of my band, and we play only statist music.
* I don't think that individualism is so important that I'll let a person beat their child because "muh libertuh."
* I like taking things from job creators and giving them to poor lazy people who don't deserve nice things.
* If I was free, I would be able to bootstrap my way out of a chronic and undiagnosed (after 4 years of what would have been expensive medical tests) illness, to compete for a job that I wouldn't have the experience or work history for, that doesn't exist anyway, so I could pay back my family, who i would have bankrupted several times over paying for medication.  But the thing is, I really hate personal responsibility and big government makes me hard.
* Because I'm a dirty Jew.
* My job at the FEMA camp convinced me. Amazing dental plan and free jackboots with little spikes on the bottom. Boss says they're for icy days but you and I know better. Now if only Obama would get off his ass and declare martial law already. These boots are still too shiny.
* Free will doesn't exist, ergo, freedom doesn't exist. Checkmate ancaps.
* because I'm into history and libertarians are literally british east india company administrators.  also, socialism is correct
* I'm a feminazi, it's in the name, really.
* Because conditioning they gave me when I joined the Illuminated Homosexual Lodge of The Grand (un)Freemasons worked.  The State is mother. The State is father. I love the State. I love the State long time.
* Because adults deal with reality, and as much as I'd like to pay 0% income tax, that's not going to pay for my kid's education, roads, health care, military etc.  Being a part of a civilized society costs money, deal with it.
* I used to be the "socially Liberal, fiscally conservative but totally not a libertarian" thing but eventually i just got over myself.It was when I honestly thought that Libertarianism is a middle ground but it's not.
:Just like Communism, it looks really good on paper.But people just rally around it because its a way for them to try and legitimize their views.Here's a few good examples of what I'm talking about:<br>
:"I don't think the gov't should be involved in Religion and I'm a Libertarian.But, I don't want those people praying in school."<br>
:"I don't think the government should be involved with marriage.But I also think we shouldn't let the fags get married!"<br>
:You see where I'm going with this.
* I love freedom. I just hate neoliberalism.
* I'm jealous of all these intellectual ubermensch who smarter, stronger, and all-around better than me getting the fruits of the granparents' grandparents' labor. I'm also too lazy to give my bootstraps the ole heave-ho.
* because everything is better enjoyed at gunpoint